Chapter Fourteen

Abby bolted awake, her heart pounding, ragged breathing and the remnants of the nightmare slowly slipping away behind her tightly shut eyes. She slowly opened her eyes, convinced that the face she’d dreamt about would be in front of her.

Darkness.

She willed her heart to slow down, the blood rushing in her ears to go away.
She could hear Jon softly snoring next to her and began to calm down a little. She breathed heavily, feeling limp and weighty. Her eyes felt heavy and sore; as if she’d been sobbing. Jon shifted in his sleep and she turned her head to look. Her eyes became adjusted to the night and she could just make out a head of tousled hair peeking out of the quilt. He was sprawled on his front, sleepy limbs spread out. Abby smiled. She lay still for a while feeling totally depleted by the nightmare.

‘Come on Abs, it was only a bad dream and it’s gone now. Jon’s here, okay he’s asleep and it’d take a bloody nuclear attack to wake him, but he’s here and you’re safe.’ she thought, laying in a cocoon of warmth under the blanket and quilt.

She breathed in the cool night air wishing that Jon was a light sleeper and not one of the dead when it came to sleeping. Talk about Sleep When I’m Dead, Jon was more like I’ll Sleep Like The Dead. The first morning she’d woken up next to him she’d turned to face him, all sleepy smiles and happiness and had kissed him to wake him. She’d got up, sighing heavily, after he’d grumbled at her, burped, turned over and gone back to sleep for half an hour.

Abby lay, wondering whether it was worth going back to sleep. She looked at the bedside clock and groaned.

2:07am.

Whispers of the nightmare spoke to her as soon as she closed her eyes. She huffed, angrily, as she pushed the warm, heavy quilt off and swung her legs round to sit on the edge of the bed. Yawning madly but too scared to try and sleep she shuffled across the shag pile carpet and, grabbing Jon’s dressing gown off the back, quietly opened the door, letting it shut behind her with a quiet snick.

There was low level lighting inlaid into the skirting boards and she followed the slight illumination along the corridor and down the stairs. The night air was cool but not cold. The heating which was always turned to tropical had only been off a short time. Still, Abby didn’t like the dark and the lights only provided a small amount of illumination. She hurried down the wooden staircase and padded softly to the kitchen. She could see dim lighting spilling out from the area and smiled. It could mean only one thing, which was confirmed as she smelled hot chocolate in the air.

Richie was still up.

She rounded the corner into the kitchen area and smiled at the tall man sitting, his feet propped up on the table.

“Hey Abs, what are you doing up?”

“Couldn‘t sleep.” she replied, as she sat down opposite him, rolling up the sleeves of the dressing gown that was threatening to drown her in material.

“Jon still snoring his head off?” he asked, sipping the sweet chocolate.

Abby smiled, running a hand through her hair, “Yeah, still fast asleep. I think it’d take a nuclear attack to wake him when he’s in a deep sleep.”

“Tell me about it. He was always the last one on the tour bus back in the old days, then he’d put his head down and sleep until we got to the next town.” Richie chuckled as he thought of some of the journeys the band had made.

Richie looked at the young woman in front of him, noticing the dark bags under her eyes and the slightly haunted look.

“Are you sure you’re ok Abs? You look like you haven’t slept for days.

Abby tried to smile but felt as if she might break into tears. Her bottom lip wobbled and a film of tears filled her eyes.

“Hey, Abs, whatever it is, I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

Abby looked up at Richie, seeing only kindness and concern there.

“I had a nightmare and the horrible thing is I’m sure I’ve had it before. It seemed so familiar, like I’ve dreamed it more than once.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“I was in a room, in the dark, with a little bit of light coming in through the window. It was really cold and there was this face,” Abby balked at the memory of the face, her face scrunched up in horror.

Richie reached out and took her hand in his. He patted her hand soothingly.

“It’s ok darlin’, the nightmare’s gone. The bad man’s gone away.”

Abby looked directly at him, eyebrows raised.

“Sorry,” he chuckled as his own words hit him, “I used to say that when Ava woke from a bad dream.”

Abby smiled kindly. “Thank you, it works.” she began before continuing, “This face is young but so old, that makes no sense I know but…he came towards me and I had nowhere to go. I could smell pine trees and snow and there was music playing far off, and then he was over me, coming closer and closer and closer until I felt his breath on my face…” She swallowed and breathed heavily, “I wanted to scream and shout and kick him off me but I was paralysed. I couldn’t move at all, I was helpless and sure I was about to die and then I closed my eyes and woke up in a sweat.”

Richie thought about it for a while. It sounded like a classic dream of being trapped and also loss of control. Ava’d had a few nightmares over the years and Richie had read a couple of books on dreams so that he could help talk her through them.

“How old where you?”

“Huh?” Abby said. She got up to make them fresh hot chocolates and turned to look at him from the kitchen counter.

“Your age, in the dream. You said it was something you think you’d had before. Maybe you had this dream as a kid. Can you think what age you were?”

“Oh, that makes sense.” she said, slowly.

“Hey, don’t make it sound like I never make sense.” he laughed softly.

She smiled as she poured boiling water onto the chocolate powder. She picked up the can of fresh cream and shook it before squirting a generous swirl on each cup and showering them both liberally with real chocolate shavings.

“Mmm,” Richie murmured appreciatively as he took a sip, “ you sure you don’t wanna give up living here and come work for me?”

Abby scrunched her nose up and shook her head, her eyes smiling. “Na.a. I like it here. Think I might stay for a while.” She smiled for a few seconds before her smile faded.

“I was 16.”

“Huh?”

“In my dream. I was 16.”

“How do you know?” he asked, intrigued as to the specific answer.

“I could hear Europe singing The Final Countdown and that was in 1986 so I must’ve been 16. I know it was in 1986 ‘cause that program Jon was playing air guitar to? Europe where on it and I remember seeing 1986 against them.”

“Did something happen to you in ‘86?” Richie asked softly.

Abby shrugged, “I’ve no idea. Believe me I’ve tried to think why I can only remember up to that year, but nothing. You know sometimes I think I don’t want to know.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, sipping the rich chocolate.

Abby paused to collect her thoughts.

“I keep getting the feeling that something horrible happened and that’s why I can’t remember past ‘86. What if I did something bad?”

“Something bad? Like what?”

“I don’t know!…I mean…Oh I don’t know what I mean. What if I work in a lab killing animals? Or even worse…”

Richie raised both eyebrows and stared at Abby. She wasn’t making much sense.

“I think you need to be telling this to Jon, much as I’m willing to listen, he’s the one you should be talking to.”

“Oh god, Jon. What if he ends up not liking me?” she said in small voice.

Richie sighed. He wondered how he was going to get out of this without telling Abby about Jon. As much as he liked her, a Jovi secret was a Jovi secret.

“Listen darlin’, I don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about.”

“But…” she began, panic rising in her voice.

“Do you like who you are now?” he asked her straight.

“Erm, yes?” she replied, unsure of his question.

“Who you were then doesn’t matter, nor does it matter what you did, if you did anything at all. What matters now is who you are right now. I can’t speak for Jon but…, hell Abs, he loves you and I don’t think a few past indiscretions are going to worry him, do you?”

“Did he say that?” she asked, timidly, her eyes wide at the L word.

“Erm…not in so many words… but then actions speak louder, ya know…” he trailed off, unsure if he’d said too much already.

Abby smiled then yawned.

“Off to bed with you, young woman.” he wagged his finger at her, as if admonishing a tired child.

Abby just nodded and went without a word, her head spinning with words already said.